Kimspiration: Truth, Chaos & Confidence

*This transcript was auto-generated*

Kim Gravel:

That Graceland experience with Travis. I've never been turned on like that, ever. I lost everything. I had a Burger King bag because I had gotten everybody dinner and I hurled that bag across the room. It hit my wall. I was blinded by shame. This could be God's provision for something that's coming.

Zac Miller:

Hey, everybody. Welcome to the Kim Gravel Show. I am Zac. I am the show's producer. Don't change the channel just because you don't see Kim. I promise you that Kim will be on the show any second. But she asked me to do the introduction.

Zac Miller:

Because this week we have something really special for you. We put together a group of hand curated clips. These are clips from past episodes that are guaranteed to inspire you. They're going to uplift you. They're going to pleasure you. I didn't realize how that was going to sound until I just said it out loud. But you know what? I'm going to go with it. Don't worry about it.

Zac Miller:

It's going to be great. It starts with an episode that we did where I flipped the script on Kim and I was interviewing her about her book collecting Confidence, which had just been released. The episode starts with my daughter introducing Kim by beatboxing. I hope you enjoy.

Kim Gravel:

Okay. Is that your daughter beatboxing at what age?

Zac Miller:

I taught my daughter to beatbox for this intro for you.

Kim Gravel:

Okay. That. I am like peace out, Cub Scouts. That is classic. Absolutely. When you hear a young kid beatbox. What. What more do you want? I.

Kim Gravel:

Oh, my gosh. I love that little peanut.

Zac Miller:

It took like seven takes, let's be honest, but okay.

Kim Gravel:

How amazing is that?

Zac Miller:

Kim, welcome to the show.

Kim Gravel:

Thank you.

Zac Miller:

Thank you for having me. We're so excited to have you. Let me hear. Let me give you a round of applause. Hold on. Welcome to the show. We're professionals on this show. All right? Everyone gets.

Zac Miller:

Everyone gets an intro. Everyone gets an applause. I want to get right into it, though, because everyone knows who you are. I'm not going to pretend like they don't. Obviously. This is your podcast. The thing that strikes me about this book, and I've read it a couple times now. I read an earlier draft, I read a later draft.

Zac Miller:

I don't think I've read the final draft yet. So I'm excited to actually get it. And I know how much of your just wisdom, your soul has gone into this thing. And I guess my first question is, like, why? Why did you decide to do this now? Right? Because I think this is like an important moment for you and I'd like to know a little bit more about, like, why this book is coming out now and why it's important for you in this season of your life.

Kim Gravel:

I think the reason. I won't say I think I know the reason for me writing the book is now with this message, is because I can fully stand two feet on the ground in full confidence in this message. Like, I'm not saying I've arrived, because by no means have I arrived, but I have accepted, embraced, and been excited about this place in my life. Full confidence. Absolutely full confidence. And I can't. It is a feeling. It is a knowing.

Kim Gravel:

It is a confidence that's like none other. And I think it took me a whole lifetime or at least up until this point to. To figure that out, because I believe, Zac, we're all born with confidence, and life chips away at it, and we lose it as we. As we travel along that. Our path. And so for me, I'm challenging people to look back over their lives and gather it back up because they've had it from day one.

Zac Miller:

You mention in the book, as you're kind of bringing people along on this journey and telling people how they can think about finding your own calling. And there's this really inspirational moment where you talk about, what were you good at as a child? Can you tell us a little bit about that? Can you bring us into that sort of moment and how you work through finding, maybe finding out a little bit more about what you're meant for by thinking about your childhood?

Kim Gravel:

So there's a particular. It's one of the last chapters, because I'm challenging you to go back into your childhood because you knew your calling then. You just didn't know it. You were probably operating in it, and you didn't know it. You didn't know how to define it. And so for me, when I was in the fifth grade, I went to Arcado Elementary School. I was in fifth grade, and I was. Oh, Lord.

Kim Gravel:

Honey. Kim was not. She didn't do a lot with what she had. Okay? I was. I wasn't the cutest little thing, you know, I was. I wasn't one of them naturally pretty girls, and. But you couldn't tell me nothing. Okay.

Kim Gravel:

You couldn't tell me nothing. I was in the fifth grade, and there was a fifth grade talent show. I will never forget this as long as I live. And writing the book, this just came to me. Just came to me.

Zac Miller:

Yep.

Kim Gravel:

My mom said I wore her out. She's like, you were the hardest child to raise. She Said you always had something going on. You were driving me and your father crazy. And, you know, think about it. So I was going to be in this talent show in the fifth grade. How old are you in the fifth grade? I can't even remember how old I was. Fifth grade.

Zac Miller:

It's like 11, 12, something like that. 12.

Kim Gravel:

I think probably, yeah. Is it 12? Yeah, somewhere around there.

Zac Miller:

Maybe 11.

Kim Gravel:

And. Yeah, maybe. And I. And I said, I'm going to be in this talent show and I'm going to do it with an air band. Air. A, I R. Okay. So this air band and your friends.

Zac Miller:

Are in the book being like, what's an air band? I love. I love that so much.

Kim Gravel:

How the heck did I know what an air band was? I didn't know what that was. So anyway, I was like. But I knew we couldn't play instruments, so we were going to fake it. We were going to pretend like we were playing instruments because I had seen this movie called Xanadu. And all of you listening, you'll know. Olivia Newton John, may she rest in peace. There was a soundtrack called Xanadu Soundtrack. And on the flip side of the album, there was this instrumental track of the song Suspended in Time.

Kim Gravel:

And I will never forget it. It's like, keep me suspended in time with you I know the song. To this day none of the rules apply. So there was an instrumental track. So I went and had my mom. Now, keep in mind, there was no Amazon. There was no prime delivery. There was no go on your phone and Google and figure out where you could pick up.

Kim Gravel:

I had to go borrow a set of drums, a keyboard, a bass, electric guitar and mics, everything. I had to go borrow everything.

Zac Miller:

No, but I thought. I. Wait, I thought an air band. Like, you literally are playing air.

Kim Gravel:

Not real things I wanted. No, we were pretend. We were. We were not playing.

Zac Miller:

You were pretending to play real instruments. Okay. I was picturing this differently.

Kim Gravel:

Think about this now. Think about how insane this is. Okay, so we would. We picked up a full set of drums, a keyboard, a bass player, electric guitar, all of that. Okay. Yeah, we didn't plug any of it in. But I went and had all. I mean, I have pictures of this and my mom.

Kim Gravel:

I just remember my mom was going from pillar to post collecting all this stuff to take to this school, and she was like, kim, y' all can't play instruments. I said, I don't care. I want it to look so real. Then I made everybody's outfit. I made their shirts. We decorated their jeans. I had I had my own outfit. I made everything.

Kim Gravel:

I ironed it all on. I sewed it on a no sew stick, little strips, and you just sew stuff on without having to sew. I did it all by myself. Okay. The night of the talent show happens. Yep, it's packed. We're the last. With the last performance of the talent show.

Kim Gravel:

Oh, gosh, I'll never forget this. We all had mullets. Oh, my God. I had mullet haircuts. Sheila. Sheila was my guitar player. I swear, Sheila, if you were watching this and you remember this or you please call me babe, please.

Zac Miller:

I'm sorry, Sheila. I'm really sorry.

Kim Gravel:

I remember. She was beautiful. Sheila was such a beautiful. She was one of the popular girls. And so anyway, so we would all just. So we did our song, keep Me Suspended in Time with you. People went crazy. We won.

Kim Gravel:

It was. It was the highlight. So from that moment on, I thought, oh, my gosh, I'm a singer. I'm gonna be a singer. Because I actually sang. I didn't pretend to sing. I sang. The air band was just playing air.

Kim Gravel:

And you say so I said, oh, my gosh, I'm a singer. No, I was a builder. I did all of that. Right? I did all of that. None of my friends helped me do that. They just showed up, put on their guitar and pretended to play. When I think back to what that was, that was the first time in my life where my calling showed up and showed out, but I did not recognize it. I thought it was a singer.

Kim Gravel:

The special part of that talent show and the band was called Rare Edition, by the way. The special part of that talent show was not the singing. Lots of people can sing. Very few 10, 11 year olds can go and pull that off by themselves and do it to win. So that's what I'm talking about. Everybody has that Rare Edition moment, Zac. Yeah, everybody has.

Zac Miller:

And it's hard to get it right. Like. Well, it's hard to figure out what to make of it, especially when you're young like that. Right.

Kim Gravel:

Well, I think everything in purpose, and when we talk about purpose and calling and whatever, we're always saying, do. What do you do? What do you do? I'm a singer. I'm a helper. I'm a little. It's not what you do, it's who you innately are. It just that. Just no one had to teach me how to do that. Yeah, it just.

Kim Gravel:

That just came out of me.

Zac Miller:

You just did it.

Kim Gravel:

I just. I just. I just did it. Yeah, it's not, it's not a career. It's a vocation. It's a calling. It comes from within.

Zac Miller:

I want to get into some of the, like, most memorable moments here from your life. And there's been some doozies. The first, the first thing I want to talk about now that we're back. Oh, wait, wait. I totally forgot. Oh, my gosh, I totally forgot because I had my daughter record this. I had my 2 year old record record the title of the book for you, Kim. I want that.

Kim Gravel:

You've got to send that to me.

Zac Miller:

So make sure that you pick up Collecting Confidence wherever books are sold.

Kim Gravel:

I love it.

Zac Miller:

Okay. Kim. No, but I want to get into it. I want to talk to you about Travis. And you go through in detail Travis's courting of you, which you made him work for it. There was a. I didn't like Travis like that.

Kim Gravel:

I didn't like Travis like that.

Zac Miller:

Yeah. Can you tell me a little bit about, like, how you knew Travis was right for you? Because at first you didn't know that.

Kim Gravel:

Well, you know, again, you know, we've talked about in a couple of episodes about, you know, our hustling and we're trying always so hard. I mean, I did it the wrong way and I talk about a painful divorce I went through and that was a manufactured hustling situation where I made things happen and the marriage didn't last and Travis came and pursued me and he knew. And I, I didn't recognize it because I think I was blinded by shame and regret and disappointment in myself from my past relationships. And so I didn't feel worthy enough to receive, I think, what was true and real and authentic. And I think a lot of times, and I certainly didn't have the confidence to recognize it. And I think that's what happens when we make mistakes in our lives that we carry so much shame. We don't even need people to judge us or shame us or hate on us. We do it to ourselves so well that it really stops you sometimes from receiving the blessing or receiving the opportunity.

Kim Gravel:

And Travis was just persistent. And again, Travis is a very confident man. He's not a perfect man. And he's certainly by no means, you know, even a person, even a man who I would say is strong all the time. But when it came to our relationship, he just knew and he wasn't going to take no for an answer. Nothing deterred him. And, and I, I remember just being like, my mom was like this poor boy. My Lord, And I remember it took me moving away from the city of Atlanta to another state to Tennessee, to realize what Travis was and who he was.

Kim Gravel:

And a lot of times you kind of have to step away and look back.

Zac Miller:

Yeah.

Kim Gravel:

And when people say, don't look back, never look back, I don't agree with that. There was like, just be in the present. Don't look back, and don't look forward. I don't agree with that. There's so much from your past that you can harvest and so much. So much that you've been through in your life that has led you to this point and could give you this burst of confidence that you need to become everything you are. Let me say that it can give you that burst of confidence that you need to become everything you were meant to be. And that's what happened.

Kim Gravel:

When I left Travis and let it go and left, I looked back, I thought, was that stupid? He is fantastic. I'll never forget it. It was like instant. It was like overnight instant. Like, oh, my God.

Zac Miller:

And there's such a memorable scene in Graceland with you and Travis, and I'm not gonna ruin it. You have to read the book to get that scene. It's so good. I just.

Kim Gravel:

Like, my mom says it's sensual. I'm like, mother, you need to get out more. This is sensual. Isn't PG, but it's. Come on, Zac. It's PG. There's nothing like. I mean, it's not even PG 14.

Zac Miller:

It's. It's PG 11, but it's nice. But you feel it, you know, And. And I think that's the.

Kim Gravel:

I'm going to tell you this. This is awful. I can't believe I'm saying this. That Graceland experience with Travis. I've never been turned on like that ever.

Zac Miller:

See, and you're saying pg. I don't know if I've been turned.

Kim Gravel:

On like that since either. We've been married 20 plus years. But I'm just saying, like, in my whole entire, like, adult life or my life period, because I'm not that active, y'. All. I'm just like. I didn't grow up, you know, swinging from the chandeliers. That was. I've never been that.

Kim Gravel:

Can I say turned on. Turned on as I was at that Graceland. That was also a chapter in the book. People. People challenged. They were like, are you sure you want to put all your stuff out there? I', y', all, it's not that bad. We didn't roll around and make out and get naked. At Graceland.

Kim Gravel:

I mean, I'm just saying. But it was a moment. It was intimate. It was very intimate.

Zac Miller:

Yep.

Kim Gravel:

Okay. We're moving on.

Zac Miller:

Okay, Moving on. Moving on.

Kim Gravel:

Zac. Hey, how are you?

Zac Miller:

I'm good, Kim. How are you, honey?

Kim Gravel:

I'm busier in a one arm Piper hanger.

Zac Miller:

You've just launched your jewelry line. Congratulations.

Kim Gravel:

Yeah, I mean, it's like. It's like every other day. It's like the house is on fire. We're launching this. We're doing this. You know, I've got two. Two teenagers at the house.

Zac Miller:

How are they?

Kim Gravel:

Okay, well, I'm kicking the podcast off with this because I think they're delusional.

Zac Miller:

I'm just seeing this from their point of view and they're like, my mom says I'm delusional.

Kim Gravel:

I'm not. I don't say they're delusional. They are delusional. And I gotta tell you, like, I'm gonna get really real with y' all on this, on this episode. Cause we're calling this. How do you know a good thing when you see it? Okay, this is. This is what we're calling this podcast. But I'm dedicating this to my.

Kim Gravel:

My three men that I live with. Travis, Blanton and Beautiful. My husband is Travis. I've got the two boys, 14 year old Lanton and 16 year old Beau. And I lost it the other night. Just lost it. And when I say lost it, I meant I had, I think, what is called an outer body experience.

Zac Miller:

Okay.

Kim Gravel:

Okay. So either A, I'm having a nervous breakdown or baby, no one is talking about raising teens in this kind of way, or C, I'm looking at a good thing and I'm not seeing it. Okay, so this is my options here. Now, a lot of that might be a lot. All three of those things could be actually true. And all of it, a little bit, can be part true. And I'm getting there. I'm getting to the story, but it's been a doozy.

Kim Gravel:

It's been a doozy of a week. I. I've got a 14 year old this trying. Trying to fail every class he's in. I've got a 16 year old who's. Who I have to track on Life360. And then I've got a husband who I don't. I mean, I guess he's got spring fever or something.

Kim Gravel:

I don't know. Zac, I'm just telling you, it's been a rough week.

Zac Miller:

Sorry, Kim. Wait, why? Can we go back to the try to fail every class thing. I don't mean to just derail you.

Kim Gravel:

But, like, he's trying to actually fail. Like, he's got the work and he doesn't turn it in. And when you do that, basically an email comes on this in bright red. I mean, it might as well be going, says, you've got a zero, you know, and then. And then I ask him about the zeros, and he's like, oh, it's so exhilarating. I'm turning tomorrow. Like, I mean, like, so to come to find out, I'm like, wow, he's not doing this work. He's not turning in.

Kim Gravel:

But the work is in the folder. He's just too lazy to open the folder, slide out to work, and turn to finish work in.

Zac Miller:

1. Okay. I don't know what to say about that, Kim. That's wild.

Kim Gravel:

So this is what. This is why I want to have this episode today. Because I need you, everybody listening to help encourage me today. Normally, I have a lot of good things to encourage you, but. So I lost it when. I mean lose it. I. If you had been videoing me and putting this out on social media, people said, this woman needs to be committed somewhere.

Kim Gravel:

Okay, all right. It was like, can you paint a picture?

Zac Miller:

Wait, so what, like, I'm painting the picture? Paint the picture. Tell us what happened. Set the scene. Tell us what happened.

Kim Gravel:

So we come to find out that Blaine's not turning any of his work, you know, and when you're starting to get, you know, emails from teachers and stuff, you know, you're just like, okay, all right. Well, you know, because I wasn't the best student. Let's just be honest. I mean, I wasn't. I mean, I was. We can buy with a C. Well.

Zac Miller:

You always say, like, oh, negotiate your grades like you were over there. I think you're young, Kim. Like, you know, going to the teacher and being like, hey, look.

Kim Gravel:

Oh, yeah, in college, I negotiated, baby. I knew what I had to do to get where I had to go. But, you know, Blanton, unfortunately for Blanton, he ain't got that kind of swag. Okay? Unfortunately for Blanton, he does not have my negotiating skills. He has his father's.

Zac Miller:

Okay, can we just. I was like, hold on, audience. You need to know, Kim went to theology school. So Kim is negotiating grades.

Kim Gravel:

There's nothing.

Zac Miller:

Theology school, but there's nothing wrong.

Kim Gravel:

There's nothing, you know, backhanded, sinful about that. That's just a life skill.

Zac Miller:

I mean, you're the One who went to theology school.

Kim Gravel:

You would know Dr. Hooks. He was my hermeneutics teacher. And I remember, like. And he was like, he is, like, the biggest follower. I hope he's still alive, Mr. Hooks. If you are, I love you, man.

Kim Gravel:

And I remember I had to have an A in this class, right? And I was barely scraping by with a B. And I remember I said to him, I said, I have to be on the dean's list to Wem's Georgia. This is a true story. I said, I have to be on the dean's list to we Miss Georgia. And so I remember he's like, I've got to pray about it. I've got to pray about it. And then one day, he called me into the teacher's lounge. This is a true story.

Kim Gravel:

Atlanta Christian College in East Point, Georgia. He called me into the teacher's lounge. And he was standing by the window looking out like he was making the biggest decision of his life. Like, this was, like, a decision of, like, great, great moral conundrum here, you know? Like, this is, you know. And he said, I'm going to give you an A. And I remember he said, but you better win Miss Georgia. I will never forget it. He goes, but you better win Miss Georgia.

Kim Gravel:

I did. So thank you, Dr. Hooks.

Zac Miller:

He did it. Yeah.

Kim Gravel:

You did it for fudging the grade. But I negotiated it. I think I had to do, like, a little paper or something. Turn something in.

Zac Miller:

Yeah.

Kim Gravel:

This was before AI. Anyway, so I'm just saying. Here we go. I get home. Blanton is not doing any of his work. I mean, we're in basketball season and tennis season and soccer season. So we got three. I mean, it's crazy.

Kim Gravel:

I lost everything. I had a big Burger king bag. Cause I had gotten everybody dinner because, you know, I live my life on the run. And we were out of factor meals. And so I had Burger King bag. I took that Burger King bag full of God knows what, and I hurled that bang across the room. It hit my wall, and I told everybody, I'm moving out. I'm getting my own apartment, and I'm done with them.

Kim Gravel:

And all three of them were like this. So do you think they said they were sorry? No. This is the text I get. So after my son had to leave, after. After this happened, my son had to get out and leave and go to soccer practice. And so it was like, wait, Blanton did?

Zac Miller:

Or Bo.

Kim Gravel:

Bo. But they were all three there. They all got the wrath of mom. Beau had to go. You know, they Know when to get out of Dodge. So he grabbed his keys, he left. This was at 6. So this was, like, happening, like, at 6:15, 6 at the school.

Kim Gravel:

This is the text I get. You ready for this? Can someone come take my car to the gas station and get some gas while I'm at soccer and drop it back off at school, please? I'm going to read that again for those of you who weren't listening. Can someone grab my car at the school while I'm at soccer practice and take it to the gas station and get some gas and drop it back off at the school, please?

Zac Miller:

What was your response?

Kim Gravel:

I did not answer. I did not answer. At 6:55, did anyone get my car?

Zac Miller:

So this is to you and Travis.

Kim Gravel:

Okay, well, this just to me. You think Travis, don't do that. It's just to me. No response. Hey, and also, since you threw the Burger King bag across the. She threw the. He's misspelled it. Since you threw the Burger King bag across the room.

Kim Gravel:

Can I order myself something really small, please, from doordash? I haven't eaten all day. Mm. I mean, and then I texted him, Kim, wait.

Zac Miller:

Kim.

Kim Gravel:

I texted him, this how I ended it. Are you a complete idiot? Question mark. And I had no response.

Zac Miller:

You even do that, like, on the first day? Yeah. What?

Kim Gravel:

I don't know.

Zac Miller:

Who does that? Who is 16?

Kim Gravel:

I'm tell you something. They will all take, like, Bo and Travis. They'll all take the car that's filled up with gas.

Zac Miller:

Backstory. Everybody, let's just take a step back for a second. Kim, there's like. Like, a little piece of equipment that's this big that Kim has to plug into the podcast studio to make it work better. And it's in the car, my car. And Kim goes, I'm sorry, I didn't bring it because Travis took my car because it had more gas in it. And I was like, who does that?

Kim Gravel:

My family?

Zac Miller:

Is there no gas stations around in Atlanta? What's going on?

Kim Gravel:

I don't know. I don't know, but that is.

Zac Miller:

This isn't Mad Max.

Kim Gravel:

This is, like, we're not siphoning off gas. Well, I will tell you, honest to God, Travis is so cheap, though, y'.

Zac Miller:

All.

Kim Gravel:

I'm serious. That he will go and just put, like, $10 in. Why? Yeah, yeah, he'll just go and put 10. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, he's that person. Like, when we go eat at restaurants, we all get water and we get one soda and share it. I'M trying to think, what else is it? So. Oh, God. Oh, God.

Kim Gravel:

I got one better for you. I got one better for you. Stay with me, people. Stay with me. He in the summers, rolls down the windows and does not run the air because he says it burns more gas. As energy efficient as cars are today.

Zac Miller:

Okay. I think so. I think there's. There's a certain speed limit. No, no, there's a speed at which that's no longer true. It's like 45 miles an hour and.

Kim Gravel:

It'S not true, period. Zac, you're saving half of pennies. That is the most ridiculous. I'm sweating like Bertha at the beach. And we. And he is trying to save 2 cents on gas and so he'll pull in.

Zac Miller:

I do think that's true, though.

Kim Gravel:

He's so good with money. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not beating him down. I'm just saying I know a good thing when I see it. He's a good man. I'm just saying, when we pull into the gas station, it's like, chicken, chicken. And it's like two seconds and he comes back and gets back in the car, and here we go.

Kim Gravel:

I'm like, did you fill the car up? He goes, oh, no, I only put like $10, and we'll get some later. And you know why he's done that? Because it's $3.86 here, right here at this gas station. And he knows three miles down the road is 10 cents less.

Zac Miller:

Kim, it's like 450 here in California. We. We pay.

Kim Gravel:

Oh, well, he wouldn't put but two or three dollars in to get you back and forth to your house then for. If we live there, that's it. So this is why I wanted to do this episode today. Because my kids do not know a good thing when they see it.

Zac Miller:

They don't need how to read a room. Like, you know when there's Burger King on the wall of the room, you can't read a room.

Kim Gravel:

But doesn't say, I'm sorry. Doesn't say, ma says, can I come get his car while he is at soccer practice, fill it up with gas and return the car back to him. And then since I threw the food across, can he go door dash himself? I'm going to tell you something. People do not know good things when they see it. And let me tell you something. My kids and my husband's got a good thing. Okay? And that, I think, is a big, huge problem in today's world.

Zac Miller:

Yep.

Kim Gravel:

And the great thing about it is I've talked to several people. Like, I always, like, I'm careful. Cause I'm like, should I tell people that I'm crazy and I lose it and tell my kids I'm moving out and I'm getting my apartment? And then I mentioned that on a call that we had, you know, we're launching jewelry, so the whole team all over, you know, the United States of America are on this call. And every single woman goes, oh, yeah, I did that last week. And I thought, oh, okay, okay. So every woman is out there either in their head or verbally saying to their. Their families, I'm getting ready to leave you. Okay? Because you ain't seeing what's good here.

Kim Gravel:

Because honestly, Zac, it is hard out here for a working mom, wife, caretaker, chick woman. Did you know that?

Zac Miller:

Yeah, it is hard for a working mom, wife, caretaker, chick woman.

Kim Gravel:

Good for you. And good for you for saying that. But you live with three women.

Zac Miller:

But for real. No, let me. Let me really respond because I do think it's really hard. And I had no idea. Like, let me put it this way. I thought, like, I worked really hard. Like when I worked in TV and in production and then I had a kid, and I was like, oh, I've never been more tired. I've never been more stressed.

Zac Miller:

I've never been like. It's just like, you know.

Kim Gravel:

Okay, let me ask you this. Are you 50? 50?

Zac Miller:

No. And it's not 50, 50. Cause it's never 50, 50. I mean, you know.

Kim Gravel:

Okay, but let's not. No preface. Okay. Does she work harder with the kids than you do? Yes or no? No. No. Okay. Rapid fire. Spit it out.

Zac Miller:

Okay. Yes.

Kim Gravel:

Okay, okay.

Zac Miller:

And. But I try really hard, and I.

Kim Gravel:

Can tell you the mental load. The mental load.

Zac Miller:

The mental load.

Kim Gravel:

The mental load. Okay.

Zac Miller:

And that's like, there's just so much of the, like, day to day, keeping the family alive, right? And like, my kids are all younger, right? So they're not like, trying to text postmates or whatever, but, like, just feeding your kids. Like, my kids won't eat. I don't know what your kids are like, you know, I don't know what.

Kim Gravel:

They were like when they were young. They'll get there. Oh, my kids. That's all they do is eat. That's all like my factor meals. I don't lie when I say that they come and steal them. I mean, I go and get one for lunch, it's gone. I'm like, who ate my chicken?

Zac Miller:

It's so Funny.

Kim Gravel:

And then they'll put it underneath their beds. Like it'll be like old food and stuff. Uh huh. Oh, yeah. There was a half eaten watermelon bowl. Like there was cut up watermelon in a bowl. Okay. You know, and it costs $42 for that, you know, to get it cut up.

Kim Gravel:

Like, you know, especially in the winter. I mean, you know, watermelon in the winter is like $772.

Zac Miller:

Yeah.

Kim Gravel:

Okay, so it was. It had a couple of pieces in it and it was sitting inside the bathtub.

Zac Miller:

I mean, was there a bottle of vodka out of it?

Kim Gravel:

Because I don't know. You know, there was no. There was no alcohol involved. I'm just saying, like, are you just sitting there in a leisurely tub eating watermelon? I just. I'm just saying, like, being a mom is so tough. And then I ask about it and they're like, what? What? But the fact that my son said to me, can you go fill up my car with gas while I'm at soccer practice and drop it back off? Just like, why would I not do that for him? This is what I'm talking about.

Zac Miller:

How do you. Wait, but what did you follow that up with? Like, when he got home, you actually.

Kim Gravel:

Saw it was crickets.

Zac Miller:

Just never. Just never even.

Kim Gravel:

I just. The last text I sent him is, are you a complete idiot? That was my text.

Zac Miller:

And then. So he. He knew. He's not going to bring that up.

Kim Gravel:

He knew I'm being an idiot. Yeah.

Zac Miller:

Yeah.

Kim Gravel:

So this is. This is the thing, though. I say to my kids all the time, like, we. We're a very verbal family. And by verbal, I mean we will fight toe to toe. Okay. You know, my family, you know, I have always taught my kids to challenge authority. Just don't believe everything you hear.

Kim Gravel:

Have your own thoughts. And so some of this mess is coming back to me. Okay. What comes around goes around. But. But I wanted to talk about how to know something is good when you see it. Because I think a lot of people are dissatisfied with their lives or a little bit delusional. Like, Bo was about taking his car to get gas in it.

Kim Gravel:

Because what they're looking at, they're not recognizing how good they've got it. And there is this quote that. That really hit me hard. You know, I have my quiet times every morning, y', all, and I really. I really encourage everybody to do that. Cause when I miss it, I messed up. I'm serious. Like, when.

Kim Gravel:

When I do this and get. And get centered every day, it really Helps. And you know, I, I just, I pray and ask the Lord to show me what I need to do and what have you. But this quote hit me from a little reading I was reading one morning. It says, it's not what you look at that matters is what you see. Henry David Thoreau. It's not what you look at that matters. It is what you see.

Kim Gravel:

And the difference of this, to me, what we look at and what we see is between the senses of seeing, you know, and perception. You know, senses provide like data. Like, like they're, they're taking it in. Like I'm sitting there taking in my kids taking advantage of me and my family taking advantage of me. Can. I know a lot of women that feel this way. Okay. They just, you know, the senses provide facts, but they don't truly allow us to perceive or, or, you know, experience necessarily what we're seeing.

Kim Gravel:

Does that make sense?

Zac Miller:

Yeah. Makes me think so much of like, just the, the stuff that we, that the beauty around us that we miss. It's like, you know, you, you see the beautiful view and then you see it every day and then you stop seeing it. Yes, right.

Kim Gravel:

Yeah, but, but, but we, and also we're in such a data driven world now. I'm telling you, y', all, y', all, this is deep. So stay with me. We're such a data driven world with AI and text and even tiktoks and all this. It's like they're just, they're just, it's so taking in information. Let's say you look at an azalea plant that's blooming and you say, oh, those are pretty color flowers. That's a great stem. Oh, they must be feeding it.

Kim Gravel:

Right? You go through, we go through all the data first. And we skip. Oh, my gosh, that's so beautiful. Look at those blooms. Do you know I'm saying, like, we don't look at, we don't perceive it, we just sense it. And y' all perception is everything. Okay, so, okay, follow me, follow me, follow me, follow me. You know how I talk about Beau and the basketball journey of Beau? It's so hilarious.

Kim Gravel:

I swear, I swear. You would think that this kid basketball is about to just kill us because it's been like this Achilles heel, but yet the most amazing good experience. It's the weirdest thing. Okay, so like, here we go. Know a good thing when you see it. So we just. The season just ended. Thank God.

Kim Gravel:

And we, we were, we were playing some games and he rides the bench a lot you know, he's a junior. You know, he's five, eight and a half. He's. He's not the tallest kid on the team by far. My son is thick. He's built. You know what I'm saying? Like, he's solid. He's not a tall, skinny.

Kim Gravel:

You know what I'm saying? He's not the typical looking basketball player. He set the bench most of the season. I mean, he got in. He did great. I mean, he was amazing. I'm so proud of him. It was the night before the region basketball games, and he comes in, he drops his stuff, he sits on the steps, and he says, I'm done with basketball. I'm not playing this summer.

Kim Gravel:

I'm not playing my senior year. I'm just done. I'm not wasting my time. I'm not doing it. And for once in my life, because I don't like to see him quit anything or anybody quit anything unless, you know, that, you know. And that's another podcast, but I'm getting to the. Where it's a good thing. Know a good thing when you see it.

Kim Gravel:

And I said, son, first of. First of all, I didn't preach. And you. Normally, I do the whole preacher. Then God's got something special and he's using it. I didn't do any of that because he's tapped out. Right?

Zac Miller:

Right.

Kim Gravel:

I didn't do the. I didn't do the. I didn't chemism him. And I finally just said. I said, I don't blame you. I said, the coach doesn't see your talent. You've given it all this year. You played varsity.

Kim Gravel:

You know, you've done the best you could. It's time. Take off your uniform. Turn it in. I totally agree with you. And so we. We both exhaled. Right.

Kim Gravel:

We felt good about it. And the family. Travis was like, son, we support you in whatever you want to do. Normally, we wouldn't do that. Zac normally would say, you gonna stick it out?

Zac Miller:

You'd push. Yeah.

Kim Gravel:

So the next day was the big game. Region game from LCA. BCA vs. LCA. Bethlehem Christian and Loganville Christian Academy. I mean, they're big rivals, right?

Zac Miller:

Yeah.

Kim Gravel:

So. And we played at lca. We played at their home gym. Well, Travis and I couldn't go. We were working again. We're launching jewelry and launching everything else. So we're working. And we know he ain't gonna get no playing time.

Kim Gravel:

You know, it's a region match. What I mean, region game. So he ain't gonna play. So the game's going on. I'm not even thinking about it. And I get this text from my friend Amanda, and she says, bo got in. He's lighting it up like he was popping off threes. Now, keep in mind, this team beat us by 20 or 30 points every time they played us before the region.

Kim Gravel:

Yeah, this is a region game. And Bo and the team got them down to where they were only losing by six.

Zac Miller:

Wow.

Kim Gravel:

And he'd take Bo and a couple other guys out the bench guys out, and they'd go back up in points, and they'd put Bo and the bench guys back in, and they'd cut the. They'd cut the score down and. And so on and so forth. And I say all that not because Bo is this amazing NBA future star. I'm saying, when he got done and he got home, like, everybody was like, oh, my God, what was killer? Like, Bo just came alive. You know, I had a great game. And he said to me, wow, mom, maybe God is telling me, I don't need to quit basketball after that game. So when I say to you, whatever you're going through, whatever your basketball game, sitting the bench is for you, sometimes it's not.

Kim Gravel:

We're looking at sitting the bench, and we're not looking at preparing for the opportunity when we get in the game. Sometimes God has us sit on the bench so that when we do get that moment, we can really see it and seize it. My sons and my husband are. They took for you for granted that, oh, mom's gonna get the food. She's gonna fill our cars up with gas. She's gonna do that. They couldn't see how blessed they are to have me. That's what I'm trying to tell you.

Kim Gravel:

Your circumstance, bad, good, or indifferent is a good thing if you're looking at it properly instead of just sensing it and experiencing the data of what's going on. You perceive it. You take it in. Change is inevitable. It's happening every day. Our whole. Our body is changing. Like, everything's changing every single day.

Kim Gravel:

We're aging. You know, I'm in this age of possibility with QVC. I'm over 50 and, like.

Zac Miller:

And fabulous and for fabulous.

Kim Gravel:

But, you know, you're definitely at a different place, and you look at life a little different, especially when change happens to you, because it's inevitable at every stage of life. But that deliberate place to live is a good place to be. Right. It's a more mature place to be. And like you said, you're thinking in your planning, and that's a good place to be. But the most optimum place to live from is by design. Okay. And what that is, is having a why, a mission statement, a reason for being behind truly everything that happens to you.

Kim Gravel:

Let me give you an example. So when I had this thing dumped on me this past week, that was really scary. And I've worked really hard to build a business that's really, really big and really impactful. Okay. And that, and I'm doing air quotes here for those who can't see if you're not one. When that seemed threatened. Okay. Where there was just some decisions that have to be made or was going to be made that would threaten that.

Kim Gravel:

Yeah, that part of my business.

Zac Miller:

Yeah.

Kim Gravel:

I, I, I, I went through default. I was like, well, I'm just gonna, you know, I went through the reactive place, and then I took a couple of days and I went through the deliberation. Well, if this happens, I could do this, this and this, or I could do. Okay.

Zac Miller:

Yeah.

Kim Gravel:

But now, after five days of sitting with the change or possible change.

Zac Miller:

Yeah.

Kim Gravel:

I'm thinking about it from a design, a life by design standpoint, which means this could be God's provision for something that's coming that, that, that something that's coming that's bigger. And I never thought about it like that in that short of a period of time. A lot of times I, I sit in one of those places. Like you said, Zac, you sit in that deliberation period a little bit too long.

Zac Miller:

Yeah.

Kim Gravel:

But when you get to the place of design, you're really starting to become a person of legacy. Because to become a person of legacy, you have to have a theory of life that allows you to show up in the world in a way that is on purpose. And I know that's a lot to take in, and I don't even know what I just said, because that sounds really deep.

Zac Miller:

Well, that is a lot. Can I. Yeah, go ahead, Go ahead.

Kim Gravel:

No, you go ahead, interrupt me. Cause I could just talk about this forever.

Zac Miller:

No, I'm gonna interrupt because, you know, for me. Okay. You use the word legacy, right? And I, I feel like legacy is the kind of thing that's, like, that's such a big word. And it's a word that I feel like is reserved for, like, heads of state and, you know, big CEOs and, like, big position. Here is the legacy I am leaving, and here is my statue in front of the, you know, medical college that I founded for my legacy. And, you know, and I feel like you don't.

Kim Gravel:

Which Is great.

Zac Miller:

I don't. Yeah. Which is great. That is what. But I feel like I have a feeling you don't mean it like that. I don't think you mean as that because I think a lot of the folks in our audience, you know, from. From hearing from people and getting to know our audience so well. I feel like a lot of folks don't feel.

Kim Gravel:

Don't even know you would have a legacy.

Zac Miller:

Yeah. Don't even feel like they're the kind of person that would have a legacy. That is not a word they would put inside the Venn diagram. That is their life.

Kim Gravel:

I know, but the fact that you feel like something's missing in your life. Okay.

Zac Miller:

Yeah.

Kim Gravel:

Tells me that you. You do think you have a legacy. Like, if you. If you. Or. Or else why would you feel that way? You'd be satisfied.

Zac Miller:

Right.

Kim Gravel:

And that's the beautiful thing about change. Is it really? Like, I will say to you, there's been so many times in my life, y', all, that if God did not abruptly change, I mean, haven't you had relationships that just go away? You're like, what, We've been friends for 20 years, and you're just. They act the fool or y' all fight or whatever, and it's just over. And you're like, what? Sometimes that's a closed door that God has to really bring into your life. A change that has to really come at you in your life to make you shift. Otherwise, you wouldn't. You would stay satisfied in a satisfied life is. Is one that is not growing.

Kim Gravel:

You know, research has found that up to 70% of people who experience, like, positive psychological growth come from difficult times and life's changes.

Zac Miller:

Yeah. Yeah.

Kim Gravel:

And so a lot of you are sitting here watching this, going, that you're either going through a change, because I always say this. You eat. My daddy says this. You either heading into a storm, in a storm, or coming out of storm. We can. We can replace that storm word with change. You're either heading into change, you're in it right now, or you're coming out of change because it's that inevitable. But change puts you in a place of undone ness.

Kim Gravel:

And being undone just means it. You're not finished. You're not done.

Zac Miller:

The thing that sticks to me, too, is, like, it's hard to look at yourself from the outside. It's hard to see.

Kim Gravel:

Well, see, you and I are going through something right now with a new little business we're doing, and I love it because you and I, like, I can just Tell how. Where we are in the decision making process because you want to talk it through. And you said. I was like, oh, we got do this. Do it.

Zac Miller:

Yeah, yeah.

Kim Gravel:

You were just like, let's do it.

Zac Miller:

You were like, let's just do it.

Kim Gravel:

And you're like, well, Kim, I want to talk about. I'm like, we ain't got to talk about it. I'm just telling you, go right there and figure out. Let's just sign a contract and do it. Let's do it.

Zac Miller:

Yeah.

Kim Gravel:

Like, see, to me, that's what I'm talking about. Like, and I love it because QVC has over 50, like, all of us women who are like, in this club at qvc with over 50, we all. We're all there. Do it. Go right.

Zac Miller:

You're just like, I'm over it. Yeah.

Kim Gravel:

No, we've learned. We've learned. We've learned that change in evolution and all that is painful, but it's prosperous. I love y'. All. Hit us up. Let us know. Tell us what you're going through and show and.

Kim Gravel:

And then how you're going to look at it differently and watch it change. That's all. What? And watch it change. I say I'm at. Bye. That's it. That's the whole show. Watch it change.

Kim Gravel:

Bye. 

Kim Gravel:

Zac Miller is the Executive Producer of the Kim Gravel Show. His production company is Uncommon Audio. Our Producer is Kathleen Grant, the Brunette Exec. Production help from Emily Bredin and Sara Noto. Our cover art is designed by Sanaz Huber at Memarian Creative. Our show is edited by Mike Kligerman. Our guest intros are performed by Roxy Reese. Our guest booking is done by Central Talent Booking. Our ads are furnished by True Native Media. And y'all, I want to give a big huge thank you to the entire team at QVC+ and a special thank you to our audience for making this community so strong. If you are still listening then you must have liked a few episodes along the way. So tell somebody about it. Tell somebody about this show and join our mailing list at kimgravelshow.com. I cannot do this show without you and so I thank you from the bottom of my heart for listening. I hope you gain a little bit of encouragement, light and love love from watching and listening to The Kim Gravel Show. I love you all so much. Till next time. Bye.