Your Failures Build Your Confidence
I love talking to confident people who are living out their purpose. This week my QVC BFF Mary DeAngelis is on the show and her story is sure to inspire you. Hear how Mary went from working in the QVC call center to becoming one of QVC’s top hosts. Mary is more supportive than a push-up bra and she shares how she approaches challenges, and how to turn your journey, and especially your failures into your confidence. This episode is filled with actionable strategies and mindset shifts that will allow you to level up your life.
How Mary discovered her purpose
The mindset behind Mary’s success
How Mary found the confidence to live authentically
How Mary advocated for herself when she had cancer
How failures build confidence
Hilarious rapid fire questions that make Mary and I laugh like crazy
Is a QVC® Program Host with an electric and warm personality. Mary grew up all other the world as the daughter of a US Army officer on active duty. She is a passionate advocate for our military, military families, and veterans. Mary DeAngelis is a cancer survivor who is living her life with confidence.
This is Mary’s motto and it’s my favorite quote from this week’s episode:
“Anything worth doing is worth overdoing." – Mary DeAngelis
The Kim Gravel Show is a weekly podcast for women where you stop doubting and start believing in yourself. On each episode Kim tackles the topics that women care about in a way that will make you laugh, make you think, and help you see your life in a new, more positive way.
Do you want real confidence that doesn’t waiver in the face of circumstances?
Do you want to stop making excuses and value yourself more than ever?
Then you’ve come to the right place.
New episodes of The Kim Gravel Show drop every Thursday.
Get tickets to my LIVE book launch event on April 25th here
Pre-Order my new book: Collecting Confidence
Check out my channel on QVC+ for full video episodes
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*This transcript was auto-generated*
Kim Gravel: Coming up on The Kim Gravel Show,
Mary DeAngelis: when somebody turns around and says, do you think you could do this? You always say, yes. Yes.
Kim Gravel: Hmm. Did y'all hear that?
Mary DeAngelis: You may not have an answer in that moment, but say, yes, get in there, try it. The worst that can happen is you feel silly for just a second. As I've always told you, always let your excited be louder than you are scared always.
Kim Gravel: Come on now.
Opening Introduction: Let's just go on and spill the tea. This is The Kim Gravel Show. This is one of the realest persons I've ever met in my darn life. You gotta watch this. My mission is to encourage every single woman, we're here to lift y'all up. There's no one more effective than moms. You mess with the bull. You going to get the horns. I need coffee. I need Jesus and I need therapy. If you can bring a smile to people's faces, why would you not? We love our kids. We love our husbands. What a blessing. We're gonna dedicate this to you in finding your superpower. Okay girl. True confidence is knowing who you are and why you're here.
Kim Gravel: Hey y'all. This is Kim Gravel and this is The Kim Gravel Show. And this season we are leveling up our lives and we're stepping into our purpose, our calling. I like to call it. And we're gonna do it together. Today's show. Zac. What's up? Let me just say, Hey Zac.
Zac Miller: I love your new mic. Little, what's that thing called?
I don't know. You have a new thing on your mic. It looks awesome.
Kim Gravel: It's a thing of a jiggy, a thing of a jiggy. It's a thing of a jiggy.
Zac Miller: That's a technical term for it. It's a thing of a jiggy.
Zac Miller (2): This, this makes us legit.
Zac Miller: Yeah, Now we're a real podcast. Like, we weren't before, but now we are. And it feels really good.
Kim Gravel: This is legit. No, I love it because this podcast is like such a passion for me because I get to, you know, say this message of leveling up your life and being confident and walking in your calling and also get to interview people who are actually doing that. And it's, it's so funny, Zac, cuz I say this all the time, I'm not a counselor, I'm not a psychologist.
I'm not this person that has all. You know, wealth of academia, knowledge, what I have to offer is quite simple, but real. I mean, it's that life experience of things that I have gone through. The peaks, the valleys, the highs, the lows. That's enabled me to. Live a life that is fulfilled and that is for me and, and my calling and my purpose.
And we've just had so many of you reach out and I just wanna take a moment and say, please continue to do so. Not only are you encouraging us, but you're letting us know what's resonating with you and, and you're letting us feel like Zac and I feel like we're not alone in this journey of leveling up our lives.
We all. More out of this life that we get one shot at. So if you can reach out, you can call us Zac and we can put all that information. You know, in, in the podcast, but you call us, email us, you can go to the kimgravelshow.com. Is that it, Zac?
Zac Miller: It is. So it's kimgravelshow.com and our voicemail line. And you can just call and leave us a voicemail.
We might play it on the show. We might call you back. We might invite you on the show. Okay. The number is 4 0 4 9 1 3. Let me get it right. 6 4 6 0. So give us a call. But here's the other thing. Can I just say we. Like a ton of fan mail. We get so many emails from people and we get like way less reviews of the show.
So if you like the show, if the show is meaningful for you, go on Apple Podcast. If you're listing an Apple podcast, if you're on Spotify, if you're on whatever podcast platform. And just rate and review the show. It means a lot to us. It helps new people find us and it's amazing. And like write us emails too, but it's like we get do balls, so many emails and we want everything.
Kim Gravel: Yeah, we want it all. I, I'll get, you know, I'm greedy, honey at my hands. I take what I get. I just answer. For, you know that saying you have not cuz you asked, not I'm asking for it. But the, as the book is coming out, my book is launching April 25th, collecting confidence. It really is my journey into collecting confidence and how you can do that for yourself.
And that's what we're talking about today. Mary DeAngelis. Such a powerhouse host at QVC, her journey and how she got to where she is now living her best life in leveling up her life and living in her calling. She's gonna share with us today. you don't wanna miss this. Mary DeAngelis is coming up. Right after this, y'all.
Hey y'all, Kim Gravel here, and I'm excited about my book that's releasing very, very soon called Collecting Confidence. And I wrote it because I want everyone to feel confident. And be the confident person that you already are and walk in it. I'm hoping that when you read it, you're gonna be encouraged.
You're gonna be inspired, you're gonna laugh a little. And also you're gonna take my stories of my life, the experiences, the ups, the downs, the ins and outs, the highs, the lows. And it's been that thread in my life that has given me the confidence to be who I was meant to be. And I wanted to do the same for you because you already have it inside of you from the day you were born.
To right now, it's time to start where you are to become everything you were meant to be. And in collecting confidence, it will encourage you to do just that. Collecting confidence comes out April 25th and you can pre-order it now. Wherever books are sold. Let's all do this thing together and walk boldly y'all in your collected confidence.
All right everybody. I am telling you I've been looking forward to having this woman on the podcast for I know over a year. you know her as My ride or die my Wednesday bff, on our static show at QVC. In The Kitchen with Mary. It's her own show. She does Saturdays at 11:00 AM on QVC two. She's got another show on Tuesday called, it Takes Two with Mary and Sandra what I've yet to be on.
So I'm kind of upset. We'll talk about that in a minute. she is a, she comes from a strong military family. She's lived all over the world. She went from answering the phones at the QVC call center to one of the powerhouse QVC host. and she's a cancer survivor. She's beat thyroid cancer, and I just remember her going through that, the prayers that went up for this woman.
But you love her and know her. Mary DeAngelis!
Ladies and gentlemen, Mary DeAngelis.
Isn't that fantastic, Mary?
Mary DeAngelis: That was amazing. Oh my gosh. That's my jam.
Kim Gravel: Is that not you made over? Yeah, and all the beatbox. I did it myself. You're so good at it. Just kidding.
Zac Miller: You did it yourself. Oh my gosh.
Mary DeAngelis: Every time we hang out, I learned that you have a new, amazing skill.
Kim Gravel: Listen, we're so glad you're here.
I'm telling you, Mary, it has been a long time coming, but everybody knows and loves you and I'm so glad to introduce you to this pod audience because this podcast audience, because you are truly, I mean, I'm gonna give you all your accolades. Just go on to take 'em. Don't start crying. You are just such a powerhouse when it comes to a living, your purpose, living what you're called to do, and a woman of confidence.
I remember stopping you in the halls of qvc. Do you remember this? And I said, girl, I loved it. You are all that in a bag of chips. I remember stopping going, Mary, there's big, big things for you. Do you remember that? And you had just been, I think, you had just been diagnosed with thyroid cancer or you were coming over.
Mary DeAngelis: Yeah, I mean, I, gosh, I remember that moment, because you stopped me in the hallway and I remember I was just like, oh my gosh, that's Kim Gravel. Please don't act like a giant dork. And and, and then when you unleashed and you were like, girl, and came in with all the fingers out and you were like, you are amazing.
You have got this, you are doing such an incredible job. And I had, I had just been diagnosed at the time, and I mean, I come from a strong family and so I knew. I really did have an overwhelming sense that I was going to be okay. I knew the road was kind of long ahead, but, when you said that it was just like that little bit of extra boost to kind of get me through a, a tumultuous part of, of life that was gonna be coming up next, and I just thought, okay, that's what real girlfriends do.
You don't have to be psychic, you don't have to, I'm not saying you have to be able to read minds, but to be able to just go up and uplift. Isn't just important because that's what we should be doing, but you never know when somebody needs it most. And I needed it most then. And you just, that was how our friendship started and I thought, oh yeah, it can.
And if it only gets better from here.
Kim Gravel: Well, well, it's just gonna get better. And this is a woman who introduced me, made me fall back in love with a hotdog. I mean, she is.
Mary DeAngelis: You uplifted me through my battle of thyroid cancer.
I reintroduced you to the hot dog. I think that's easy.
Kim Gravel: You made me fall back in love with a hot dog.
I mean, honestly. But Mary, let's talk about you because I think what people. Don't know about you is that you are such a fierce woman of confidence and, and I wanna talk about your confidence journey and how you have really stepped into living your life's calling and purpose with confidence. Can we talk about, I know you were, you were a flight attendant.
You, you traveled the world, right? That's right. You come from a military family, and we're gonna hear a little bit about what your dad used to always tell you a little bit later. But can you talk about your QVC journey? Cuz a lot of people have these big dreams and big goals. Can you tell me how all that came about?
Mary DeAngelis: You're so sweet. I, I, yeah, I mean, it's been an incredible space. So I joined QVC in 2007 in the call center. So I was working as a flight attendant, had some health things going on, so I couldn't fly anymore, and I had to find something to do. So I went to my supervisor at the airline, told her, he said, stay right here, left the room, came back in and said, I just got you a job in the office.
And so, I mean, What strong women do, right? We bend over backward for each other. So she got me a job in the office and I worked in the office for a while in management for the airline. I really just wanted a company that I could grow with and I was ready to kind of figure something out for my life. A little bit more concrete, a little bit more growth oriented.
So found QVC. So when I was a steward dress, we were told that when you are on the overnights to leave your TV on, if you leave your hotel room, you're taught that in training. And they said a good option when you leave because it sounds like somebody's in the room if you leave TV on.
And so they said a wow. A good option is a good option is qvc because it sounds like people are inside having a conversation. And so that's how I met QV was in flight attendant training. isn't that wild?
Kim Gravel: No, that is how brilliant.
Mary DeAngelis: And it was a really good piece of advice. but so I was like, wait a minute, isn't QVC around here?
So I went and saw the company, met this amazing woman, and got an interview hired into the call center. Well, at the airline I was supervising and managing about 300 people. And at QVC they said, listen, you got the job, but we, we have some bad news. You're gonna be managing the biggest team on the floor.
And I said, okay. So how many people are we talking? They're like 26. Is that okay? I was like, I'm trying not to cry. That's amazing.
Kim Gravel: So, so did you ever like have aspirations, dreams of live performing or you know, doing any kind of, like doing tv, producing it, being on air? Because, because a lot of people, you know, they have these dreams and maybe they, they tuck 'em away, you know, and, and forget about 'em, especially when we're young. But did you ever have that inner desire? Or, or did you just bump into it in this case?
Mary DeAngelis: I sort of bumped into it, but I did theater as a little kid cuz my mom got it is a saint.
And she had this spastic child and, she knew that I had. Really high. I have, oh gosh. I mean, my energy's all over the place. I need, it's so. So much energy. And so she said I was trying to find something that you could do that would engage you, but also kind of burn off some energy. At the same time, sports weren't doing it.
They didn't run long enough. recess wasn't doing it. Cause I mean, I was digging, you know, the swings out of the ground, so like, let's get her something new. So they got me into theater. So I did the king and I I did sound of music. so you performance background. I do. So, a lot of singing in our family.
Everybody sings, we're like the, you know, American version of the Von Traps. It's just, it's ridiculous. so that I've always done theater as a little kid and then I tr I've treated my entire life like a lounge lizard. It's true. I remember being in the officer's club when I was six years old. I started, I had a loose tooth and I went table to table in the dining room telling each table that I had a loose.
And would they like to discuss it? And and I remember my mom was like, what is she doing? And my dad was just like, let her run. And and then my mom, we went into the bathroom, the tooth came out and I came back to the table and around my dinner plate were quarters. The whole dining room had lined up quarters around my d So I mean, I've treated my entire life like a lounge lizard.
Kim Gravel: Sweetie, you've been selling stuff. I mean, any, you've sold your tooth. No wonder one. No wonder your shows are so successful you've been selling if you sell your own dead tooth out your mouth
Mary DeAngelis: and made 2 25. If I may, that's gonna say 2 25. That's two Reese's.
Kim Gravel: You've been selling a dead tooth, you can do anything.
Mary DeAngelis: But I mean, so became a producer. And then there was this new thing called Facebook that we were reading comments from on air QVC. And one day the person that was gonna read the comments wasn't able to be there, and they said, well, She talks a lot. What about her? And, and so they, that's how I read my first Facebook comment on air on a show called My Time with Mary Beth.
Kim Gravel: So you didn't go through the audition process at that point? They just snapped you off the floor?
Mary DeAngelis: They were like, she brushed her teeth. And she talks a lot. Let's get her on.
Kim Gravel: Were you scared?
Mary DeAngelis: Yes. Right before we went on air, one of the guys that, I used to work with said, Hey, by the way, it's really bad manners if you look into the camera.
So just read the piece of paper and then go. And I was like, is he messing with me? And so I did. I literally, I got on air and I was like, Mary Beth, Susan, Susan in Wisconsin, said she loved your show and we love tempt. Like that was it. That was, America saw this and then they cut away and that was my big debut.
Kim Gravel: You did bump into it, but you'd been preparing for this your whole entire life. Really.
Mary DeAngelis: I was ready. I mean, there's, I think that there's a natural tendency to talk. I think that, I come from a strong leadership background. My father as an officer. When you grow up as a military kid, you have to take responsibility for yourself pretty young, because you are a direct reflection of your parents, and so you understand that at a very young age.
So I had that Yeah, too. but I just, there was something about the energy at QVC that also was a confidence builder because what company that size is gonna. Yeah, I think she's got a little something. Let's see what happens. I mean, who does that?
Kim Gravel: It's like New York. If you can make it at QVC, you can make it anywhere just because it's live television and yeah, when they saw it in you.
Okay. So when you started doing that, so tell us to the journey to get how you got here today, because you are truly one of the number one host at QVC.
Mary DeAngelis: Oh, 50% of my job at that point was reading comments on his show, and then 50% of my job was actually producing the show. So, the comments part, the relationship, the friendship grew and that part kind of became like, well, that's entertainment in the show.
So we sort of built on it from there. But it was, it was one of those deals where, and I, I've said this to you for a long time along the way, it's not gonna be written out for you. A lot of these moments aren't going to be scripted or, you know, there's not gonna be an outline for it. But when somebody turns around and says, Do you think you could do this?
You always say, yes. Yes.
Kim Gravel: Did y'all hear that?
Mary DeAngelis: You may not have an answer in that moment, but say, yes. Get in there. Try it. The worst that can happen is you feel silly for just a second, but as I've always told you, always let your excited be louder than you are scared always. Always, always.
That's it. That's it.
Kim Gravel: We can just stop right here if we had to. I mean, that is so true. I mean, we do, that's what, that's what I love about your story, Mary, is there's such depth and authenticity. Talk to me about what you think it takes and, and we're talking about QVC, but also the bigger picture of success.
Cuz success looks different to everybody. Everybody has their own. I say get into yourself, get into your calling, get into your purpose, and let the se success unfold. But, Don't you think? Like, why do you think you're such a good connector and host and you know, own that cuz you know you are and I'm saying it so it's not like you're bragging on yourself.
And plus it ain't bragging if you can back it up, but what do you think? Wait, who said that in your family? My daddy. Your dad? I love that he used to say, honey, if it ain't bragging, if you can back it up. And it's just what makes you walk in that confidence when you're doing what you do. And honestly, this can, this can apply to anybody in their life, in, in anything that they.
Mary DeAngelis: Oh, you're so sweet. I mean, I think that I have fallen down more times than I have glided through unscathed, and I think that the choice that you make after you fall down to live in a place of positivity matters. we're all gonna fall down no matter whether you're an accountant, whether you're an executive, whether you know, whatever your job, you're a nurse, whatever your job is.
There's gonna be little and big moments where, ugh, either you flubbed it or life circumstances made the situation fall. Whatever it is, it's gonna happen and it is a choice to decide where you're gonna live in your head space. After that, and I live with two very positive people. I was raised by two very positive people.
My dad, Woo. He's all jazz hands and leadership. And that man can zing a sentence out at you in a moment that just levels your brain cuz it's so smart. My mother is a listener and she's a planner and she's, a strong human being. And the smartest person, you, you don't, by the way, ever watch Jeopardy with my mother.
Kim Gravel: She's one of those question, she's one of those. Yes. Yes. I know those people. And you're just like going, what the what?
Mary DeAngelis: And those are my two halves. And so those two, that's your influence, those two people, you know, the jazz hands and the listening, was how I was raised. And so I remember, my dad saying to me one time, you know, I said I got, I had gotten really irritated with something that happened at school, and I said, and I can't get myself out.
And he said, well, he said, if you act like something long enough, eventually you will just be it. He said, so if, if that is irritating to you, and he goes, just imagine yourself being over it. What would it feel like? Would you feel lighter physically? Would you wanna go read something? Like what is it that would, how would you act?
If you were feeling better. And I told him, I said, well, I'd probably, I loved comic books, so I said, I'd probably go read a comic book or play outside or something. He's like, well just go do that. He goes, and then once you start doing that thing, you'll be in a better mood and or you'll be over it or you'll be whatever it is.
So, I mean, to, they taught me young and in different ways that you have a choice when you fall. Do you wanna settle into that ditch and live there?
Kim Gravel: Accept it?
Mary DeAngelis: Or do you wanna just, that happened that was on me or that was on life? And then act like you're onto the next step until it's solidified and you're living in it.
Kim Gravel: Mary, I can't agree with your parents and you more, I mean, it's, it's a choice. Life is a choice and, and we are so blessed to have the freedom to choose. Yes. but I wanna talk to you. Your authenticity, because I think to me, that's probably your biggest superpower. And I always say everyone has one or at least a handful of superpowers and some, do it. They don't know they're doing it and they just do it. But there's something special about someone who understands their superpower and honors it, respects it, moves from it. And, and res, you know, has this. Gratefulness for it. And I think you're one of those people cuz your superpower is truly authenticity.
I mean, you are very authentic and that's why I think you're so popular on QVC and so successful in life. I think everybody wants to be authentic, truly. I think everybody wants to be seen and heard as who they really are. What gives you the confidence, Mary, to live from that place of the authentic.
Mary DeAngelis: Thank you. And I mean, you, coming from an authentic woman, that means a lot. And I think love, I mean, it all comes down to that word and whether I am very lucky to be loved. By other people in my life. I'm loved by my parents, I'm loved by my husband. but it also comes in from inward. Yeah, you have to love yourself.
Come on. And that's easy to say, isn't it easy to say? Because there could be a lot of factors involved that make that not possible. but for me, I am my very best. I'm my very, I'm my own very best. And,
Kim Gravel: oh, no, no, no. Like, we gotta stop it. No, you can't skate over.
Mary DeAngelis: It's true that it's true.
I am, I'm my very own best friend.
Kim Gravel: Dig deeper in that, Mary.
Mary DeAngelis: I'm the first one on the scene when something goes wrong. I am the person to chime in when it seems like the whole world's laying on my forehead. I have been here since day one, living in this body and I have seen it at its worst, and I have seen her at her best.
And I gotta tell you, I am proud of what this has been through, and it's not just about those catastrophic events that happen in life to all of us. It is surviving cancer, or it is, you know, getting through, a, a death or getting through the, a job loss or huge awful things that happened to us in our life.
It's also about the, you just stopped and did the right thing in that moment. I've seen all those moments that this body has been through and I'm still. And I think every day that you can wake up and say, I'm still here today. I'm gonna try a little bit harder than yesterday, or today I'm gonna give myself a break.
And everywhere in between, I'm proud of each and every one of those. And you have to say those kind of things to yourself. You have to. Because the only person at the end of the day that's looking in the mirror and going, how did it go? Is is you. So I've, I have always been. my best, my best friend. As, as wild as that sounds,
Kim Gravel: Mary. That's just so, I mean, you've just helped so many people just by saying that, like, it's so true. It's hard to do, like you said. It's easy to say and hard to do. for sure. But that is for sure, that is, that is how to be truly authentic. And I think that's what we all are searching for.
Mary DeAngelis: I mean, I'll tell you, I have not shared this story, I don't think ever, just because it's, it's hard to get into on live television, but I remember when I was a little girl, I was diagnosed with ADHD.
And one of my school teachers said, we need to talk to your mom. And so got a letter home, talked to mom, and my mom came in and I remember I was sitting out in the hallway and my mom was in there chatting with, I think a teacher and a principal. I'm a little fuzzy on the exact details of like who was in the room with my mom, but I could hear what they were saying and they said to my mom, they were proposing all these things.
We've gotta get her to sit down in the classroom, which I can't argue with. That is, but we've gotta, we've got to, and they described a whole bunch of things. We've got to reign her in. We've gotta reign in this, we've gotta reign in this. We've gotta reign in this. And my mother said, we're not doing any of those things.
And they said, well, why not? And she said, because I would miss her. I would miss her. And I heard that come out of my mother's mouth. And I remember sitting there thinking, you know what, that's pretty cool that she said that. But I would miss her too. I mean, I'm fun, I'm loud. Sometimes I interrupt people and sometimes I, you know, say wild things.
But I also take really good care of my family, my friends, and I'm still here. So yeah, I loved hearing my mom say I would miss her.
Kim Gravel: Are you crying? Are you tearing up a little bit. I know, me too. I know. I see it tearing up because that I would miss her too. That would be great tv. I when you say, Let's reign her in. Isn't that I know Mary. I don't cuz I'm gonna lose I my lashes. You know I'm gonna cry my lashes
Mary DeAngelis: off. I know. I almost ate off all my lip gloss. Hold on.
Kim Gravel: Put it back on girl. Put it back on. Don't you think that's what is happening with young people today is we're trying to reign them in. It's such, you know, such a brilliant, profound thing.
Mary DeAngelis: Well, there are things that you can, you know, everybody's different. I totally believe that. I, sure, I think that I've had to learn a lot of things over the years to kind of stay focused, stay on track, and to be sure tools listen better, all those things. But that takes time and it, and quite frankly, a lot of classrooms don't have that flexibility, to be able to offer that.
But I will say hearing the most important thing outta that whole thing was hearing my mother say, I will miss, I would miss. We're not doing any of that. Cause I would miss her. And I just thought, first of all, I tease my parents all the time and say, I'm so lucky to be born to you too. Cause I was, if I was born to anybody else, I'd probably be in jail.
I said, but I also love the fact that she meant that wholeheartedly. And I think that for anybody who is listening or who is watching, and no matter what your chemical makeup, no matter what your physical makeup, your emotional makeup, you have a place here and it come on. And, and I don't wanna reign you in.
I know. Nobody. You know, that's on your screen right now. Wants to reign you in. And if there's, if there's something that people think isn't good enough. It is. It is. It is. It's, that's your, whatever you think isn't good enough. As you grow up or as you mature, you find out is actually your superpower.
And I think super hearing her say, I would miss her, turned my, you know, kind of energy all over the place into my superpower. And I think that's the authenticity right there.
Kim Gravel: It is. It is. Your mother gave you permission saying that. Gave you permission to be you. Because I think when, when the, and, and look, the teachers and society and social media, pa, pa, pa, pa, pop, maybe the corporate structure that you're under, maybe a marriage that you're in.
Okay. Fill in the blank of whatever your struggle is cuz we all got 'em. Okay.
Mary DeAngelis: We got 'em. They're all different, but we all got 'em.
Kim Gravel: But every, all of those. I'm gonna, I need to reign you in messages that we get. Are those limiting messages that fit into a narrative that is not yours? Like, I love how you write your own story and you do it and you tell it.
So colorfully in relatably, if that's even a word, and it, you know, you, you connect. And I love your motto. It's now, and you're so, you're wicked smart. You're wicked fiercely quick witted. Okay. your motto of anything worth doing is worth overdo. I think that's the, that's the juxtaposition to your, let's reign her in.
You're like, oh, heck no, Uhuh. We're not gonna reign in. We're gonna go forward slow.
Mary DeAngelis: The first time I said it, I think I said it to be funny, but I'm a big believer in anything worth doing is worth overdoing. I love it because if, if my show, listen, this is just to share a little bit how that motto fits into life.
If my show starts at 7:00 AM. I'm in that studio four hours prior. I'm in there at 3:00 AM
Kim Gravel: and steam in your clothes that she steams her own clothes people.
Mary DeAngelis: Yes, she does. there's, there's a whole nother podcast right there, but the, if I signed up for a job, if I said, I am going to be able to fulfill all these job requirements, I'm gonna do those.
And then some. I mean, I am aggressive with my workday. I am, and I, I've said this many times in interviews maybe not all this, but I'm giving you a summation. I'm not the smartest person in the room. I'm not the prettiest, I'm not the tallest, I'm not the fastest, but nobody works harder than I do.
And, and I may have a couple speed bumps at the beginning or the end, or in the middle or whatever, just like human beings do. But I can assure you out of the gate without hesitation and a hundred percent confidence that I am the hardest working person in that room. And if I'm gonna sell you a sheet, I'm gonna know how it's woven.
I'm gonna know the, skew number of the loom that it was made on. I mean, I am all in. And so, yeah, that's a lot for a lot of people. But for me,
Kim Gravel: why do you think, why do you think you do that, Mary? Where do, where do you think that comes from? Originally, cuz I've got a theory.
Mary DeAngelis: I think that that is a piece of confidence.
I can feel lighter in my own skin if I can confidently share with you everything that I'm supposed to be presenting. Even if we never get to it, even if we never cover a detail. I always share with teammates that the reason that I can go on air and play for a second. Is because I can yank us right back to wherever we need to go.
Because I'm covered, I've covered all the facts. I've covered all the details, and I have them in my toolbox. We may not need 'em, but I'm ready. And that's confidence. Being ready is confidence.
Kim Gravel: I mean, you're, you're just, I swear we are just so simpatico. But I will say to you too, I think, I think it also, I think the foundation of.
Anything worth doing is worth overdoing. I think just from what I've witnessed, being your friend and working with you on a very successful show at qvc is that it comes from a grateful heart too, and just, I know that says you're like what? But no, it's true. Follow me here. Because when you are grateful to have opportunity, I think, I think a lot of people miss the boat there when you are so genuinely appreciative and grateful for an opportunity that has come your way. You will work hard, you will overdo the work like you're saying, to not only keep the opportunity, but to honor that opportunity.
Mary DeAngelis: I agree. I mean, you know, I've been in jobs that made me feel less than too. I've been in me too places in my life that have made me feel less than.
When things seem especially bad, and then you take a leap into something different, you know that that grass is always greener phrase. Where do you think all the good has been hiding? What? That's it. So I mean, when, when you do take that leap and you jump into the unknown, I don't know anything about this job, this town, this company.
I don't know anything about it. If things are so bad over here, where do you think all the good is? And so it's over there in the unknown. And that's, that's the gratitude. And my husband thinks I mean, every once in a while I say something to him that makes him just completely lose it. I'll sit there quiet for a little while and go, isn't it, isn't it great to have shoes?
And my husband will just go, what? And I'll see. I'm grateful for sh for shoes. I'm grateful. The two pair of shoes,
Kim Gravel: especially with my bun onions honey, with my flat feet. I've got to have a arch.
Mary DeAngelis: But I think doing a gratitude inventory in your own life is, is uplifting. I'm, I'm grateful.
I found this headband in
Kim Gravel: the headband is rocking by the way.
Mary DeAngelis: I found this upstairs in the bathroom and I was like, I'm grateful for the headband. I mean, a, anybody who's listening makeup, okay. They have officially lost their. Try it. I I say that about you. Try it one time. I say that about you because when you start being grateful for, I don't have this, and they have this, and oh my gosh, I'm not as great as this other person or thing, or whatever, take a gratitude inventory of what you have, and I guarantee you by the end of that list, there'll be at least one cell in your brain that.
All right. All right. I'm doing pretty good. I'm doing pretty well. That's, that's, that's pretty good.
Kim Gravel: Well, you've just, y'all, I'm telling you there's been four or five nuggets everybody needs to write down. I'm gonna go back and listen to this. I'm gonna steal it. I'm just gonna go and tell you right now on, on tv.
I'm stealing it. Okay. and don't sue me cuz I ain't got nothing anyway, so don't even try it.
Mary DeAngelis: And my memory's not that great, so I don't remember.
Kim Gravel: Okay. I don't remember nothing. I wanna, I wanna talk about your thyroid cancer because I heard you say, On a show that you have to advocate for yourself, like when you think something's wrong or you have that gun intuition, because there's a lot of people that struggle with a cancer diagnosis or a health diagnosis or a financial, you know, you know, diagnosis.
There's that. We struggle with hard things. What do you mean, Mary, when you said you advocated for yourself?
Mary DeAngelis: Oh, I am super passionate about it. I mean, That my, another, another thing that my dad said to me growing up was, people who don't know you cannot create your life. And that really hit when I was a kid, I got, that was one of those that he didn't have to say a lot.
He said it to me one time and it, and it hit, I was washing my makeup off one day after work and I felt a, a knot in my throat. And, it was little. It was little, little, little. And I. Went to one doctor who said, it's just stress. And I said, it's not. And I thought, but immediately I just got another doctor.
I'm just going to a different doctor. So then another appointment, I went to another doctor. I feel it. But I think that, we'll wait on a biopsy. I can get you in for a biopsy in about another six. And that's not outrageous. That's not outrageous. but it's, it didn't feel right to me. And so, I found a third doctor, and that doctor got me in for a biopsy the very next day.
And they said, we're gonna take three samples from three different areas. We're gonna wait and see how they come back. The very first sample that they took came back cancerous. And so the fact you were young. but the fact that. I knew immediately that that first doctor was wrong. the second doctor was pretty close, so technically I could have just stayed there and, and been perfect.
Perfectly fine, but again, I've known this body since day one. Come on. And I know when something is wrong and I have confidence that there was something wrong going on. I didn't quite feel different yet. Just a little bit, but not enough to warrant being that dogmatic about it. But, you cannot, in one part of your life, say that you're a big fan of yourself.
And not advocate for yourself medically.
Kim Gravel: How do you trust yourself so much? How have you, cuz a lot of people want this kind of confidence, cuz to me, you. Uber confident per woman. How do you trust that? What are some of the practices you do or what, what has made you say, you know, that's not right.
I'm gonna trust myself. You've got a professional doctor here telling you otherwise, but you're like, eh, I don't know. What? What, what things have you done? What can people actively do, Mary?
Mary DeAngelis: I think confidence comes, it's, it takes time, but I think too, It's, it's a, it's a multi-layered thing.
You have to be kind to yourself. You just have to, if you're in the habit of not, then you have to make a conscious choice to practice being nicer to yourself, number, number one. The other thing too is when you fail, it's not the end of the story. When you I fail. Oh my gosh.
I've had so many wild jobs that I have been so bad at y'all. I was the worst waitress in the world. you know why? Because by the time I shut up and got your food to you, it was cold. Okay. I mean, I
have tried, I tried to be a secretary one summer. I was, I w I got a job as somebody's admin. I can type about negative six words a minute. Like it is, there's no chance I like big nails.
That was a problem. So like, I can't, there's so many things that I was bad at, but you know what? They're funny stories and it doesn't mean that I let anybody down. It doesn't mean that, you know,
Kim Gravel: it wasn't your spot won't your spot.
Mary DeAngelis: The world crashed and burned. It was, it's part of your journey and it's okay to fail.
Kim Gravel: So have you, have you gotten fired? Have you ever gotten
Mary DeAngelis: fired? I'm trying to think. I I have never been fired. Just making sure. Going through the inventory. I have never been,
Zac Miller: that says a lot.
Mary DeAngelis: I have never been fired. but I have,
Kim Gravel: have you, have you mutually parted ways?
Mary DeAngelis: Yes. Yes, I can. I can tell you I worked at a Mediterranean restaurant years and years ago, Lord,the food was out of this world. It was so good. And I remember the owner who was the nicest, most patient man came up to me and said, I don't know any other way to put this. I just need you to be faster. And I remember thinking, what are you talking about? Like it was just the most ridiculous thing.
And then a week later, okay, I need you to be a little faster than that. And then a week later, just a little, so when I told him I was leaving and I had to move on, he was. Gosh, that's a shame. Okay. Like it was
Kim Gravel: We hate to lose you, but bye.
Mary DeAngelis: Okay. Don't let the door hit you. but I think that those failures are also a part of what makes you, important in whatever you find your, your piece to be later on.
Not every job, introverts and extroverts are just as important. Oh, I, I, if, if I surrounded myself with all people like myself, it would, oh my gosh. I mean, I would need naps.
Kim Gravel: Well, I think, I think people were shocked that our show was so kismet because, but, but I will tell you why I think it's so special, because we're both extroverted.
We both loud, we both have adhd. We're both, you know, We could go on a rabbit trail formula and dig ourselves. Yeah, we could just like go down a rabbit hole faster than Alice, but it's just, it's like, I think it's because you do you so well and you are so confident in what you do, and I do me so well. It's a mutual respect and love for that authenticity that we have for each other and for our girl that watches.
Yeah, we love our sisterhood.
Mary DeAngelis: Oh, desperately. And, and that's, honestly, that's the biggest thing. So get people at least one or two in your life, if you can, that you trust and keep 'em close. because that sounding board is so important. If you have a whole pack of girlfriends, then you're lucky and hang on to 'em.
But honestly, people that don't know you can't create your story. And that was the biggest thing to me. I mean, That person across the room who you think is looking at you funny. Number one, they're not. Number two, they can't write your story cause they don't know you. the job that you didn't do well touch it, feel it, let it go because that has nothing to do with your future.
Your future lies on the other side where it feels all dark and scary. That's where all the good stuff is. And so trusting in that, trusting in that journey, trusting in the people that are close to you. You'll see over time that it gives you that confidence and your shoulders go back and you try a new lip and then it's just you're off and sailing,
Kim Gravel: Lord and a good pushup bra, a new lip, and a good pushup bra and change it.
Mary DeAngelis: Fresh coat of deodorant. And a good push up bra.
Kim Gravel: Come on. Yes. That's it. Ooh. All right. That's the way to end this, but we can't end it without doing something fun. So we end every show with rapid fire questions, and we have curated the best shows, the best questions just for you. Okay. Rapid fire questions. All right.
Rapid fire questions. Mary, don't think about it. I don't want you to pray about it. I don't want you, okay? I don't want the first thing. Come up. Come out, I'm ready. How do you psych yourself up before going on tv?
Mary DeAngelis: Never die you Dirty Devil.
Kim Gravel: What is that?
Mary DeAngelis: You said, don't think about it. Ok. It's a line from a
movie and I can't remember what movie it was, but they did a double kiss and then they pointed in the mirror at themselves and said, never die you dirty devil
Kim Gravel: never die you dirty devil. Okay. We're doing that every wednesday. Every Wednesday. Every Wednesday, right? We get on, we're gonna look at each other.
Mary DeAngelis: It has no religious significance whatsoever. It's just like a line from a movie.
Kim Gravel: Listen, honey. Devil's not involved. Devil's not involved. And if he was, we want him to go on and die.
Anyway, all here we go. What is the greatest song ever written.
Mary DeAngelis: Ooh let's stay Together by Al Green.
Kim Gravel: That's a good one. I like,
Mary DeAngelis: what's yours? What's yours?
Kim Gravel: Oh, the rocky theme. That's my hype song. Or, or Tina Turner's Okay that's my hype song too. Or Tina Turners simply the best.
She is bad to the bone. She's straight up, bad to the bone lover.
Mary DeAngelis: When Let's Stay Together by Al Green comes on, everything else stops. So end up with you.
Kim Gravel: Do you think let's stay together as a baby making song?
Mary DeAngelis: Anything you want could be, well, yeah, but it's also like, As silly as it sounds, and I know this has kind of been the theme, but like it, it applies to relationships, but it also applies to yourself.
I mean, that's it for yourself too. So inward and outward, favorite song of all time,
Kim Gravel: love it and it's perfect. If you could pick a new skill in an instant, what would it be?
Mary DeAngelis: Ooh, languages. I wanna speak. Oh, all the languages. I mean, speak Spanish, little bit, little German, little Spanish, broken English.
Kim Gravel: what about French?
Mary DeAngelis: Yeah, French is French, but it's so beautiful. And yeah, it's just, I mean, I would, it's all in the. I have to say too, Vietnamese is so gorgeous. It's tonal. It's a very tonal language. And so it's not, that's the, the intricacy and the engineering of languages I think is so interesting.
So I would love all those. I would like all the languages.
Kim Gravel: I think, I think the most interesting language and one that's, you know, this highly, highly intelligent. Like it just sounds intelligent, is the southern draw.
Mary DeAngelis: Oh, come on. I mean, listen, and there's, there are different cadences to the southern draw.
If you go to Charleston, then it's a little bit of drinking lacka on the battery. but if you, t's different everywhere
Kim Gravel: You know, I'm teasing, you know, I'm teasing. See, I don't, I don't have the southern draw that's very, very educated and elevated. I've got more the, Hey y'all. I ain't got one thing to eat.
Where we going to? Where we going to Walmarts?
Mary DeAngelis: I love that it's plural. Walmarts is plural.
Kim Gravel: Everything targets Walmart. Listen, Valentime, and I say Valentimes, not Valentine's. Valentine's. What is the dumbest thing you've ever Googled?
Mary DeAngelis: Oh, That's a good one.
Kim Gravel: That's one's like the best.
That's the best one.
Mary DeAngelis: When we were in Ireland, a lady said to me, in a pub, you remind me of someone. She showed me a, and I'm condensing this story. She showed me a picture of Hillary Swank and I said, oh my gosh, thank you. So I took that as a huge compliment. So I Googled myself. I pulled up a picture and I said, what about her?
And the woman goes, no,
not a bit. So I think that Googling myself and trying to get somebody to ha ha what, that was the dumbest thing I've ever Googled. And, cause I got sh I got shot down and I think my husband wet his pants. Cause my husband was like, He just lost it,
Kim Gravel: Mary. I love it. And, and sometimes don't Google yourself.
Just let it, let it be. Let it be when it is. Let it just be
Mary DeAngelis: they don't know you on Google and they can't create your life.
Kim Gravel: Okay. My mother was in church one Sunday, this true story, and she, the preacher was up there preaching. You know, my mom goes Bowl Springs Baptist. She does all the cantatas that the Christmas cantatas and everything.
She's really big in the church. Do do. She's one of them elders, you know? And so he comes up to her and he says, Joe, I didn't realize. He said, you certainly have a testimony. She goes, oh yes honey, the Lord's done good work in me. And he said, I did not realize that you were in the adult entertainment industry.
There was a whole article about my mother and it had said, you know, Kim Gravel and her sister Allisyn from Kim of Queens and her mother Jo, who's a, a famous, a former famous porn star porn. I have the article and she was like, she was like, well, I do look good. She said, I've always looked.
Mary DeAngelis: Can I get a signed t-shirt or something? I didn't know. We were dealing with industry royalty
Kim Gravel: and she took it as a slight compliment. That's
never Google yourself. Okay, here we go. Ever. You could get one word tattooed onto your body. What would it be?
Mary DeAngelis: Love
Kim Gravel: Celebrity crush.
Mary DeAngelis: Gosh, I don't really have like a one person. I mean, there's, there's, so I love rip. I mean, we all love Rip from Yellowstone. Let's just, let's just just say that and just leave it there.
I hugely though, I think. On a, on another level. Kelly and Murphy, have you ever seen Kelly and Murphy from Peaky Blinders?
Kim Gravel: Yes. That's an interesting one.
Mary DeAngelis: It's not a visual thing, it's more of a cerebral thing. I just think his, Acting and he's just, he's phenomenal. And so yeah, I would say,
Kim Gravel: well, you've got both ends right there.
I think you're co covered. Cowboy hat. Cowboy boots, and then Smartie, MCT, tardy. Okay. Best comfort food in the world.
Mary DeAngelis: My mother's. Oh wow. Recipe for chicken.
Kim Gravel: Ooh. I thought you were gonna say hot dog. So, okay, now you've got me going. I want to taste that chicken.
Mary DeAngelis: I'll send you the recipe.
She used to make it when my dad was a tack officer at West Point and she would feed the cadets and they would eat it and then they would fall asleep on the floor. So we just had looked like bodies, the bodies hit the floor for real. And she called it cadet dinner.
Kim Gravel: Last question, and I just think it sums it all up.
Mary, what do you think confidence is in one word or a couple of words? What is confidence?
Mary DeAngelis: Consistent positivity. Consistent positivity, and I mean, we could expand on that in a lot of different ways, right? It's, you have to be consistently positive with yourself. You have to put yourself in scenarios that are consistently positive.
It's not one moment that gives you confidence. That can be a. but in order to be and live in a confident place and be a confident person, it has to be consistent. And so, yeah, whether it is a mindset, whether it is putting yourself in a situation that is more positive than the one you're in now, it has to consistently positive.
Kim Gravel: I don't know what more to say. I love you. I love you. Tune in to everybody. It is. We need to do this more often. You're such, you're so amazing and I love you. And y'all check out Mary every Wednesday with me at nine o'clock. She's got two other shows. She's all over the network. She is a powerhouse, superstar, ride or die girls Girl.
And authentically you.
Mary DeAngelis: I love it. You, you have brought so much love to QVC and I've said, I say it once, I say it all the time. I'm proud to say I've called you America's best girlfriend for years and we love you so much and this is part of that consistently positive to so many of our days. You are the face of that for so many, so we love you right back.
Kim Gravel: Well, right back at you girl. We, I love doing life with. I do. I love doing. I love of you and, and I love what you're saying. Go find people that you love doing life with and do it. That's right.
Mary DeAngelis: That's right. Find your peace. And then live it loud.
Kim Gravel: Oh, that was so good. Mary is such, do you see what I'm talking about? About her authenticity, Zac?
Zac Miller: A million percent. Mary is like a breath of fresh air with ADHD.
Kim Gravel: Well, she said she has it, but she's turned that into like a moment for her career. And I loved all of the nuggets of, of wisdom and, and things that you can apply to your life.
I, I, I'm telling you, I love the favorite thing I, she said, she says, be your own best girlfriend. Yes, be your own best friend. But this is the thing how she just, and I like how she said she kind of bumped into what she's doing. I think as long as we're moving forward and taking a step and another step, our purpose, our calling, what we're supposed to be doing will find us.
But we won't if we're not moving forward. Like I think, we think we have to have it all together to get where we're going and really we gotta just get where we're going. It'll all work.
Zac Miller: And she got to like, where it's so obvious that she is where she's meant to be. And I just love her story because she's like, oh, I did this job and this job and I did this and I wasn't any good at this.
And it's just, it, it's not a straight line.
Kim Gravel: It's not a straight it's not a straight line and it's not, it's not always an even la an even playing field either. There's a lot of valleys, a lot of peaks, a lot of bumps in the road. but again, If you are still drawing breath, you have a calling and purpose.
And so just take that step forward and do it scared. Wherever you are right now. Whether it be, you know, in trauma, in disappointment, in depression, in a dark place, what is beyond that is where the good stuff is. So just start moving forward to that unknown. Because that's where the good stuff is.
All right. Till next time, I'm Kim.
Zac Miller: I'm Zac.
Kim Gravel: We love ya.
Zac Miller: This is someone I found on this place called the internet. I don't know if you,
Mary DeAngelis: I'm at to write, I'm gonna write that down here
Kim Gravel: The internet.
Kim Gravel: The Kim Gravel Show is produced and edited by Zac Miller at Uncommon Audio. Our associate producer is Kathleen Grant, the Brunette Exec. Production help from Emily Bredin and Sara Noto.
Our cover art is designed by Sanaz Huber at Memarian Creative and Mike Kligerman Edits the show and a special thanks to the team at QVC. Head over to kimgravelshow.com and sign up for our mailing list. Again, we can't do this without you, so thank you for listening, and we love you.
QVC Host / Mother
Mary DeAngelis is a QVC® Program Host with a cheerful and warm personality. Mary grew up all other the world as the daughter of a US Army officer on active duty. She is a passionate advocate for our military, military families, and veterans. Mary DeAngelis is a cancer survivor who is living her life with confidence.